You Know
by blacksand1
Summary: … I'd like to slam my long silver bullet into your well greased chamber." Rated for Language and themes.


**WARNING:**** IF YOU HAVE MORAL, ETHICAL, CULTURAL OR RELIGIOUS REASONS TO RUN TO THE TOILET AND THROW UP AT THE **_**THOUGHT**_** OF REVOLVER OCELOT MATING WITH **_**ANYONE, **_**DO NOT READ THIS. Also, I own nothing. I also have nothing against EVA, I think she's awesome. **

_Three Weeks Before the Tanker Incident…_

Olga Gurlukovich walked down the busy Manhattan street, her hands shoved awkwardly in her pockets; it had been so long since her father had given her time to just do casual things that she felt uncomfortable around the general public. Olga was a military brat, she only knew battle! If she could have her way she wouldn't even be here, but her father had _ordered _her to go out and have fun. How could she have fun when they were supposed to be preparing for an attack?

"I hope the old bastard dies," Olga muttered. The Russian woman kept walking for a few minutes or so before she came across a bar. Olga contemplated going inside before shrugging and walking in. She probably had enough on her for several beers, at least enough to get her wasted. Getting wasted would _definitely _make this more enjoyable. The fair-haired Russian hopped up onto a bar stool and ordered the strongest beer she could think of. The bartender threw her the drink over his shoulder and she caught it expertly.

Right as she was cracking off the top and muttering about Americans being idiots once more, she heard from beside her, "Nice catch."

Olga's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates; she slowly looked beside her out of the corner of her eye, and had to keep from making any more gestures of surprise. Sitting next to her- and thoroughly buzzed by this point- was none other than Revolver Ocelot. Olga stared at him in silence for almost a minute, unsure what to say or do in this situation. She didn't trust him one bit, not even out here.

"… What are you doing here?" Olga asked finally.

"Same as you, getting plastered," Ocelot replied with a shrug, taking another sip of his alcoholic beverage. Olga followed his lead, but didn't say anything else. This was going to be one _long _evening…

_Several Beers, One Song by Journey and One War Story Later…_

"A-an *hic* he jus runs off with tha EVA bitch! Damn tha bitch 'n 'er boobs," Ocelot exclaimed, now drunk out of his mind.

"Tha's bullshit man!" Olga agreed, also plastered.

"Yeah I mean- wha's she got tha I 'un got?!" Ocelot wondered, leaning on Olga and staring at her imploringly.

"Man, tits ain' tha great y'know? They kinna hurt yer back n' stuff. An' I was a lesb'in fer about five days man, penises are so much better than vaginas! Yer way better than some Bond Girl kinna bitch," Olga replied, swaying a bit on her barstool.

"Tha's not true- *hic* your boobs ain' tha bad Sugartits," Ocelot mentioned, now switching the situation up to Olga leaning on him (said Russian now giggling out of control).

"Thanks," Olga managed to say through her giggling.

"Y'know, I'd like t' slam my long silver bullet int' yer well greased chamber," Ocelot said with a devious grin.

"*hic, hic* Alright," Olga laughed.

_One Night of Raunchy, Unprotected, Russian Sex, Three Pregnancy Tests, One Song by Kansas and Two Weeks later…_

"Wha- What do you mean your pregnant?!" Sergei Gurlukovich sputtered. Olga chewed her bottom lip nervously, looking to her upper right and away from her father; she couldn't feel more ashamed right now…

"The mission is in one week, the timing is- Who's the father?!" Sergei demanded. Olga furrowed her eyebrows and tried to remember; she had been drunk, but the last person she remembered having sex with was…

Olga's eyes widened; it looked like she _could _feel more ashamed…

"It was a drunken one-night-stand, I can't remember," Olga replied quickly.

**Oh Sunny, you poor girl, being fathered by Revolver Ocelot *shakes head* I have something in mind for a sequel to this, but I might not do it… Unless you want me to XD I hope you all enjoyed~!**


End file.
